Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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