Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
