i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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