Who did Billy Mays play for?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
