i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize