so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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