i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
