I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
