I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
