If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
