MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
