Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
