did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
