he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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