You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize