My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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