I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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