found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
