it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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