It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
