Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
