Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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