I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
