i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
