He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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