god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
