you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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