Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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