thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They took my balls.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
