why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Let's get the cat blown out
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
