I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
