would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
