and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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