He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
