I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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