The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
