Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
