Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize