Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
