"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
