Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
