It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
