I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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