I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need water and some morals
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
