I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Randomize
