Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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