So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
