our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
