Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
