Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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