I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
