somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
