Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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