I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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