So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize