worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
