Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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