Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
