she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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