In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
